Problems develop when we desire something that we shouldn't have and we indulge ourselves in that desire. This overextends our normal selfishness that can protect us. Still, we can control our selfish desires with God's help (Romans 8:5-14).

Daily prayer and Bible reading can fill our minds with godly examples and ideas. Whatever we put into our minds and hearts is what we'll think about, and that can determine how we treat each other (Proverbs 23:7). Only God, through His Spirit in us, can help us overcome excessive selfishness (1 Corinthians 2:12-15).

2. Marriage and family require sacrifice and service.

According to the Bible, the very best life one can live is filled with sacrifice and service (John 15:13; Matthew 20:26; Luke 6:38). In a world of plenty, where many of the basic human needs are filled to some degree, this may sound crazy and archaic. Why sacrifice when you don't need to?

Now we're right back to the first point and human nature. We were designed to want and enjoy peaceful, happy relationships with others. But that lasting peace and happiness cannot come without effort on our part (James 3:18). The most powerful, mature and wisest act in the world is that of sacrificial service. Because of Jesus Christ's sacrifice, humanity can be saved and live forever (John 3:16-17).

In 100 Simple Secrets of Great Relationships, psychologist David Niven gives us practical and down-to-earth guidelines on what scientists have learned about relationships and how we can use them. On the subject of personal sacrifice he shares this:

"We recognize that having a long-standing healthy relationship is an achievement . . . It is certainly not always easy, and the rewards are not always immediately apparent, but sacrificing your immediate preferences and being committed to sharing, caring, and listening are mundane but heroic steps toward your lifetime relationship goal" (2003, p. 1).

In truth, if you want to enjoy your marriage and your family, you must  serve others, which also sets a good example for everyone.

3. Stop doing anything that harms your marriage and family.

If you want to make your marriage and family better, you must first stop doing anything that's harming them. Continuing the bad stuff produces only pain, suffering, resentment and anger.

The weaknesses we succumb to are symptomatic of our human nature (Romans 7:15-23). Each bad habit we unconsciously or unwillingly develop through repetition "carves a rut" in our thinking, one that's very hard to avoid again under similar circumstances.

The Bible tells us we can overcome evil with good (Romans 12:21). The idea here is to replace bad habits with good ones. That translates into overcoming—through God's Spirit and His written truth.

4. Husbands and wives should be lovers. 

Perhaps you've heard the proverbial story of the husband who thought that when he told his wife he loved her at the altar that was good enough. He thought she should remember that time and not expect him to repeat it.

Needless to say, such an approach doesn't cut it in the long run. Human beings need reassuring all the time. We are not robots. The wife's need to hear her husband tell her he loves her and appreciates her never fades, ever. The same holds true for the husband. He constantly needs reassurance that he's needed and respected, though he might appear to need no one. If he has a pulse, he needs attention. If she has a pulse, she needs attention.

Send her flowers. Call her and encourage her. Honor her with a candlelight dinner accompanied by romantic music. She'll appreciate it; so will you. Wives, don't forget to encourage your husbands; they need to know they are honored and respected.

5. Parents must dedicate themselves to creating a happy family.

What parents invest  into their families is usually what they'll get  out of their families. If you show respect and love to your children, that's probably what you'll get in return. If you yell, curse, scream and threaten your children, your children likely will yell, curse, scream and threaten others, and maybe you.

Physically, there's no closer relationship than family, other than marriage. When a marriage is happy, the family is usually also happy.

View your children as future members of God's family. Parents are stewards of God (see Luke 16:1-12), looking after and loving His future sons and daughters (2 Corinthians 6:18). For now, we as parents have the privilege to love and train them.

God created the marriage relationship and the family that comes from that unique relationship. The Bible tells us that we should rear our children in God's way of peace and happiness (Deuteronomy 6:6-7; Ephesians 6:4). Happy families come from happy marriages. Parents with happy families are dedicated to that end.

6. Parents should set aside time for family discussions.

When was the last time your family sat around the table or in the living room discussing important topics each family member faces each day? Some families enjoy uplifting discussions during the evening meal as they eat together.

If you want a healthier family, schedule specific times each week when the entire family can be involved in open discussions. Sit around the table and interact with each other about this most important group activity on earth, making your family the best one possible.

Family discussions can only improve your present condition, if you make up your mind to bring peace and happiness to your family. Act  now. Set aside special times for open and reassuring family discussions.

7. Turn off the TV, take a walk or read a book. 

Ever wonder where peace in the home went, or has it always been noisy and confusing? Is that all you're used to?

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), children in the United States on average watch about four hours of TV a day—well over double what the AAP recommends. It further recommends that children under age 2 should have no TV, computers or video games at all. During the first two years of a child's life, when brain development is critical, TV can interfere with the learning, exploring and interacting that help young children develop necessary skills.

Some television can be a good thing— in moderation. Preschoolers, for example, can get assistance learning the alphabet on education-oriented programming. Older children can learn about such things as wildlife and the world around them on nature shows. Parents can keep up with current events and learn a great deal through watching science and history programming.

Most teens today have never been without a TV. They cannot imagine what life is like without it. Television programming has been their teacher—along with video games, some of which, like TV, depict graphic violence, sexual themes, consumption of illegal drugs and profanity.

Such influences can create a rebellious spirit in your child. (One father said that when his nephew, whom he took in during difficult times for the teen, refused to obey him in the home, he took away the most important thing he could find—his door. That worked for them.)

Turn off the TV and take a walk together. Listen to the birds sing and think and talk about God and His creation. Turn off the TV and pick up a book instead. Try reading the Bible daily. Give your cognitive processes a break. Fill your mind with something moral and healthy.